The Unlikeable vs. The Unelectable

The "Inevitable" Nominee

Be my date to the prom. Please?

GOP voters are in a pickle. At the heart of it is a clown car full of candidates so awful Paul Krugman and James Carville are scratching their heads. It would be easier to dismiss if the republican primary actually were an episode of Punk'd, if Michele Bachmann really were doing an Andy Kaufman riff. 

The field is what it is: a bad joke.

The only "inevitable" thing about Newt Gingrich's candidacy is that he would get a chance to ride the Anybody-But-Romney train and lead in the polls.  What is odd is that his lead outlived the others and has yet to collapse under the weight of Newt's own verbal blunders.

I will say, given the weakness of his competitors, Newt does stand out. Next to Bachmann's blank stare, Gingrich is a mental colossus.  Next to Perry's rabid religiosity, Newt's shameless philandering is refreshing. Next to Cain's ignorance of...damn near everything, Newt's ideas (no matter how laughable) lend him gravitas.  Next to Ron Paul's libertarian fetishism, Gingrich looks sane. Next to Huntsman, Gingrich looks inferior in every way, but Huntsman has done such a wonderful job fading into the woodwork it's hard to tell he's even still running.

And then there's Mitt. The presumptive nominee. The only candidate who poses a credible threat to Obama's reelection. So of course primary voters hate his guts. The smooth, well groomed appearance, the New England pedigree, the Obamacare pilot program. And of course the Mormon thing.  Can't have that.

They love Newt but c'mon, the guy couldn't even hold his seat in Congress. His brash rudeness, boundless egotism and lunatic ideas are guaranteed to turn voters off.  This is without even getting to his awful run in Congress notable for two government shutdowns, resigning in disgrace as Speaker, and being a royal pain in the ass to GOP leadership.

Still he's leading in the polls with Iowa right around the corner.

Even evangelicals are coming out for him.  Really? What the fuck?  He spits on the institution of marriage (opposite marriage no less), has no discernible moral grounding, and he's Catholic!  Huntsman and Romney take it on the chin for wearing special underwear, but Newt gets a pass for impeaching Clinton over a blow job while banging a staffer?  They want the guy who advocates putting poor children to work?

Have fun selling this slimy lizard to the independents.  

So there's the pickle: the guy they hate, or the one who can't win.  Republicans, enjoy.  I'll be watching the show.